Google is God

Virtually anyone who can type Google in the address bar of a browser uses the search engine to search for a bewildering range of keyword combinations. Like many devotees of other (often lesser) gods, the ardent followers of Google (including me) too believe that you can ask of it any request and receive about a million SERPs (Search Engine Result Pages) as benediction.

But most fail to realize that Google is no kind and loving god. The search engine, undoubtedly is omniscient and omnipresent, but it is benevolent only if you pray to it in a prescribed format. When you don't do that, like one of those gods you read about in mythology -- it takes umbrage and grants you your SERP -- only it is all gobbledygook.

Which might not be good for the seekers (and I suspect it must be turning many a believer into a hardened atheist) but it is good for us bloggers. For Google in it's wrath (or maybe due to its quirky sense of humor) directs some of the devotees to our blogs and the keywords and phrases in which these devotees have worded their prayers make for entertaining reading.

And give you something to write about when you are starved of ideas -- I believe a Google search post is mandatory for any blogger, atleast I have read quite a few.

Here are a few seekers who were directed to my blog, over the past few months (yup, i maintain a record of these gems) in their quest for truth.

We were only looking for some food: maggie tastemaker, fast maggie noodles, maggie noodles joke (just shows how popular instant noodles are, health food be damned), and one came looking for harabara kababs. And another came sniffing for: Indian food that stays fresh methi paratha.

We are here only for a few laughs: dirtiest joke, family walks into talent agent office joke complete, and of course the one who wanted his (or her) food served with a dollop of humor: maggie noodles joke.

We love sports (actually Sania Mirza): sania mirza BLOG obscene, Sania mirza navel, and one seeker who was looking for: sania mirza incest period. (Don't ask how that pointed to my blog.)

We are only looking for some entertainment: watch marathi movies online, random funny pictures, mahabharata video streaming.

We rock, and so do you: bangalore scene heavy metal techno, rock bands of guwahati (!!!?)

We are (so) bored: bored in andheri east, boring mrs world seema bhakar (Don't ask, don't know.)

We want to be doctors: allopathic medicines which doctors give for fever

We need a talent manager: Talent Ink artist management company mumbai

We only want some information: i want to see pakistani email, when will the train between kalyan and kasara start (how do I know?), and this is the best: i only want email of uddhav thackeray shiv sena leader (Narayan Rane supporter maybe, looking to send some hate mail).

Google God operates in mysterious ways and we can only guess at what it is attempting to do, what connections it trying to make. But we can surely be thankful for all the little joys that it sends our way.

And to all of Google's devotees that were (mis)directed here, don't give up hope. God often tries us in ways that we cannot comprehend. All we can do is to keep the faith and continue our quest for answers.

Amen.

technorati tag(s): Google, Search Engine